I am wasting my time

Like many people on this site, I enjoy reading about various subjects, mulling them over carefully, discussing them with various people, weighing everything in each others’ favour, having changes in my viewpoints, and so forth, and so forth.

It’s all a waste of time.

I lost three years of time in failing education because I couldn’t focus on important things very well, see anything requiring any level of planning through, or even show up on time, at one point. I’ve seen countless communities devoted to certain intellectual ideas or nominally imaginative pursuits devolve into echo chambers where existing ideas only get affirmed over time, especially so when said place was about ‘going against the grain’ in the first place. It’s with reasonable certainty that I can say that there’s very few things I’ve picked up spending my time reading things over the internet that’ll actually tangibly improve my wellbeing in some clearly visible way.

Reading ‘thoughtful’ things hasn’t helped my education. It doesn’t seem to have much effect in positively influencing other people out there. It certainly doesn’t improve my own life in much of a visible way, which is why I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m really just wasting my time at this point.

I’m not alone. Anti-racists, MRA’s, neoreactionaries, rationalists, feminists, atheists, libertarians, or most anyone who doesn’t blog about their favorite recipes or what places they’ve been traveling to, are really not doing much to further their causes at all; with their readers being self-selecting, most arguments that can be made anywhere having been made a hundred times over already, and people’s minds being nigh-impossible to change, blogging is no way to further a cause in the first place. Anyone in it for a cause, an actual purpose, would be much better off joining a party or an actual political movement someplace, boring and drudge-like as though it is. It’s all a waste of time.

But, suppose you have a blog about any other subject, or like to spend your time elsewise. Let’s go with bird watching. You love bird watching. You’ve been passionate about bird watching for thirty years.

Is that really a better investment of your time, as far as anyone not yourself is concerned?

If I’m going to start writing a blog, I’ll have to accept that I’m wasting my time. I’m probably not going to do the world very much good. Chances are there won’t be many people whose views I sway with my writing, either. And above all, I’m just going to pick up writing because I want to and would like to, not because of any other reason.

All I can do now is hope that if I’m going to waste my time, I will waste it well.

I am wasting my time